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Have a question about weddings? Ask our wedding guru. If she can’t be helpful, she’ll at least be witty!
Hi Britta,
My future mother in law is a total momzilla. She’s not even paying for the wedding, but she wants total control over every aspect of the planning. I’m not sure what to do. I can’t totally cut her off, because she is my fiance’s mother. Help!
Well Cathy,
You have two options: 1) elope, or 2) elope on an uncharted desert island, and then change your name, move to Venezuela, and hope she never tracks you down.
But seriously. If you think she’s this controlling about the wedding, think about how she’ll be after she’s legally related to you (not to mention if/when you decide to have her grandkids.) Use your wedding as a way to nip her controlling behavior in the bud, or she’ll be picking out silverware for your 25th anniversary. (Trust us. It’s happened.)
So start like Mary Poppins, being firm but kind. Tell her you appreciate your concern, but you have everything under control, and while you maybe be marrying HER son, it’s YOUR wedding, not to mention, YOUR marriage (that’s a plural ‘your’ fyi). And speaking of you plural, this is a perfect situation for your fiance to resolve, since it is his mother, after all. If he’s ready to get married, he’s ready to tell his mother that she needs to back off from his life. Not that she won’t be important, but it’s time to cut the umbilical cord.
If you want to be diplomatic, which is not a bad idea, considering you’ll have to deal with this woman for the rest of your life, consider appointing her in charge of a task you’ve been dreading. Can’t tell a lily from a lilac? Have your future MIL do your flowers. She can channel all her manic energy into making sure you have the best buds on the block, and you can cross one more thing off the list.
This also might be a good time to check your own OCD tendencies. What seems like meddling to you might be her way of making sure her son has some imput into the wedding. If you realize your own mom knows more about the wedding plans than your future husband, or if lobster is your main course, even though he’s allergic to shellfish, it might be time to loosen up a little and let your fiance (and, gasp, his mother) have some say.
Hmmm…..Sounds like you suggest I balance the good, the bad and the ugly of the in-law minefield.
Hi, I’ve found the perfect wedding cake–it’s going to be black and white art deco, but I’m not sure what to put on top. My grandma has given me her bride and groom cake topper, but they just look too kitschy for my super sleek wedding cake. Do you have any suggestions?
Good news for you, FMW, the hard part’s done. Now all that’s left is icing on the cake, so to speak. Luckily for you, sleek and mod are the hot trends for this year’s cake toppers. Monograms are a must have for all fashion-forward brides. You can either do your first names plus his last initial, or just one large letter for a big statement. Of course, if you’re not taking his last name (hello! you’ve already built a fab reputation with your own name, so why start from scratch?), you could also do both of your last initials (equally sized, of course) on top of the cake. With your cake, I’d suggest your initials in a minimalist brushed silver. I mean, nothing goes better with black and white then silver (unless it’s diamond of course, but you’ve already got that on your finger). If you want something a little less severe, silver monograms adorned with crystals are also tres chic. Silver with crystal flourishes creates a pretty delicate look, whereas all-over crystal gives a glam sparkly look. (Hard to go wrong either way).
If you want something more abstract, there are all sorts of silver and crystal cake toppers, from cake tiaras to butterflies to mediallions. Likewise, hearts are popular on cakes. I might not suggest this with your particular cake, but a photo of the happy couple is a new twist on the cookie cutter B&G of yore. Instead of figurines, these cake toppers are delicate frames designed to insert into the top of your cake. If you do want the figurines and don’t mind shelling out a little, some artists will create cake toppers in the likeness of you two.
And of course, there’s always flowers. Flowers, once called the poor girls diamonds, are making a big comeback. We’ve been trying for centuries, but it’s hard to beat nature for sheer elegance and beauty. Think about your cake, topped with lilies or black roses. Trust us diamonds wouldn’t look any better.
What are the top wedding color trends?
Hi Krista,
For the past couple of months, green has been the super hot color. From olive to forest to lime, no wedding has been complete without green. Brown replaced black and navy as the premier neutral color several years ago, and it’s showing no sign of leaving. Avoid tans, and go for deeper browns, generally in shades like Chocolate or Mocha (someone must have been hungry…) Brown and green together make an uber-trendy color combo. Try brown and moss for an earthy look, or brown and chartreuse for a mod look. Also, pink and orange, popular for centuries in SE Asia, have finally made a splash in the west. Great for outdoor weddings, pick vibrant shades like tangerine and magenta if you’re a bold bride who’s not afraid to show her colors.
As we head into winter though, jewel tones are looking to be the next hottest colors. Deep rich colors like burgundy, purple, ruby, emerald, etc. are great for a glamorous look reminiscent of the past. Think Anna Karenina riding through the sleigh in the St. Petersburg snow, or a Renaissance feast. These deep shades are bright enough to hold their own, either in a chandelier-lit ballroom or in a snow-filled garden.
I’m trying to plan our wedding and I’m in charge of choosing the wines for the reception. I’m not a huge wine snob, but still, I’d like to move away from the chardonay/merlot combo. It just seems so -bourgie-. What sort of red white combo do you suggest that is both drinkable and interesting?
Britta,
Hello. My fiance and I would like for our guests to give us money instead of gifts. We’re both older and have most of the things we need. We’d really like to take a nice honeymoon rather than stare at 10 toasters. Do you have tips on nice ways to ask for this?
p.s. We know it’s usually frowned upon to ask for money but our guests know us well and would understand.
Tatum