We found the coolest bridesmaid dress ever.  None of that crappy taffeta stuff you’re used to.  Check out www.twobirdsbridesmaid.com.  The dress can be word over 10 ways so each of your bridesmaids can have their own style!  They’ll love it.

The average wedding in America costs between $20,000 – $30,000, which is some serious dough. While you certainly can have a great wedding for a fraction of that cost, unless you totally elope or only invite five guests, your wedding is probably going to eat a chunk of your savings (or max out your credit card.) When you think of everything that goes into your wedding—venue, caterer, music, cake, dress, etc., even the thriftiest couple finds that the costs all add up. Here are some tips to help keep your wedding budget—and your credit card bill—under control.

1)   Cut your guest list. The best way to save money is to reduce the number of people at your wedding. If you were having a sit-down dinner at $50 a head, cutting 20 guests saves you $1,000. If you haven’t seen someone in years, or have never seen them, you probably don’t have to invite them to your wedding. And just because your third cousin twice removed invited you to her wedding, it doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate. You’ll need to put your foot down with your respective families to make sure they don’t get carried away. Do this by giving your parents a number set in stone, and tell them they can ask that many people. This way, they can decide which of your great aunts really needs to make the list. If you have thirteen siblings and twenty cousins and fifty nieces and nephews and you talk to every one of them each day, have a super intimate wedding and reception the day of, and then throw a big reception for everyone later. Send out wedding announcements after the fact with an invite for a big BBQ or dessert bar.    

2) Pick and Choose. What part of the wedding do you care about most? Are you a serious foodie? Did you meet working for a radio station? Pick your most important aspects to splurge on, whether it’s a five-course meal or a top DJ, and cut back on the rest. If you two are wine connoisseurs, chances are your guests will be too busy appreciating your fine wine to notice that your cake wasn’t made by the top bakery in town, or conversely, when they’re digging into their triple chocolate ganache torte, your guests won’t be complaining about your lack of canapés. Buffet meals are a cheaper option than sit down dinners, however the long lines can be a total drag. If you do have one, try breaking it up with different food stations around the room to cut down on lines.

3) Don’t hold your reception at a meal time. If you have a seven o’clock reception, you’ll look kind of cheap if you don’t serve dinner—and you’ll have to put up with hungry, cranky guests. Move it up to four and serve the same menu however, and your guests will be impressed by your spread of tasty hors d’oeuvres. If you’re super cash strapped, you can serve cake and punch after the service, just make sure it’s not during a meal time. Also, note on your reception card what sort of reception it’ll be, that way guests can prepare. Generally, if you’re just serving hors d’oeuvres, you can say “cocktail reception to follow” or “light refreshments and dancing” etc. If you are just serving cake and punch, hold it immediately after the service at the same venue. That also cuts down on reception rental fees, as most places will give you a set packaged fee, and some places, like church basements, are free. (Lots of churches won’t let you serve alcohol, which is a plus if you’re a super cheapskate, as alcohol costs more than fruit punch.)

4) Don’t hold it on a Saturday. Most venues offer significant discounts if you hold your wedding on a weekday—some even throw in free catering. Also, since they’re probably not trying to pack in five other weddings on the same day, they might be more relaxed about reception length and provide you with more focused service. While it might never have occurred to you, a Thursday evening wedding could be lots of fun. And because the next day is a workday, your guests will probably hold back on the drunken revelry, cutting down alcohol costs and overtime fees. Picking an “off-day” is also a good idea if you don’t have a lot of time to plan your wedding, as popular spots get booked up years in advance for Saturday dates. Friday evening and Sunday weddings are also less expensive than Saturday afternoons. Also, avoid three-day weekends. They’re super tempting if you have out of town guests, but if you’re thinking that way, so are all the other couples out there, so they end up being some of the most coveted days on the calendar.  

5) DIY. Paying extra for little conveniences like return address labels all adds up. With a little spit and elbow grease, you can save money by doing it yourself. Don’t worry if you’re not Martha Stewart—even if you’re all thumbs, you can probably manage to tie your own bows on your wedding favors. If you are super crafty, and have nothing better to do with your time, this is your chance to show off your skills, from making your own centerpieces or bridesmaids dresses. Also, if you have a friend who’s a baker, or a florist, you can ask them to contribute their skills in lieu of a wedding present. Just remember, doing flowers for a wedding or baking a wedding cake is a huge commitment, so don’t be hurt if they have to decline. Conversely, watch out for friends who volunteer to do a critical task without having the skills necessary. Just because your friend makes a mean Birthday cake doesn’t mean she’s up to the task of tackling a wedding cake—even serious bakers have wedding cake fiascos, and you don’t want to end up as a cautionary tale. (We have a story involving a homemade wedding cake, a car trunk, toothpicks, and warm weather. Trust us. You don’t want to hear any more.) Likewise with wedding invitations or wedding dress offers. Be cautious, and make sure your friend has a realistic idea of the time and skills necessary for the project involved. That goes for you too. You might save some moolah doing DIY save the dates, but is it worth the 20 hours and four reprints you had to do? If a task is doable but tedious, take it on, but if it’s genuinely out of your skill range—or someone else can do it in 3 hours to your 30, go ahead and outsource.   

We know that when you’re in the midst of wedding preparations, like deciding between white and ecru for your wedding invitations, it’s easy to lose track about what the whole ceremony is actually about. It’s easy to think wedding wedding wedding, and forget that it’s actually a marriage you’re preparing for. So in order to prevent having to plan wedding number two (I mean, do you really want to have to go through that catering fiasco again?), it’s best to think about marriage number one, before you actually tie the knot. And one good place to start is by tackling the number one stress in marriage—a word not mentioned in polite company. That’s right, money.

I know, who wants to talk about money when you’re madly in love. I mean, it seems so, mercernary. We’ve ditched dowries and bride prices, and most of us were taught that when we found our soulmate, we didn’t need money to live happily ever after. Besides, you don’t want to sound like a gold digger or tightwad. But in successful relationships, partners are open and honest about their financial expectations up front—it’s what keeps the romance going. It’s hard to be starry-eyed if you’re worried about a roof over your head—and your spouse is racking up thousands of dollars in bills. Or conversely, if you have to submit receipts for every stick of gum you purchase.

Weddings can be budget busters as well as block busters, so it’s a great place for you and your fiance to work on your cooperative financial skills. But it’s also good to sit down and have the talk away from all the wedding madness. Money is about several things, including control, expectations, and well, money, so it’s best to get it all out on the table before you’re legally obligated to take on eachother’s debts.

 1) Unless you two are siblings (please, we hope not), you probably were raised by people with different spending priorities. Maybe your fiance’s family gladly did without food so they could by the latest in flat screen TV technology. Or maybe your parents took a second mortgage on the house so they could send you to private school. Whatever it is, both of you will naturally have things that seem more important than others. Yes, sometimes your spouse will want to make a purchase that totally blows your mind. Or balk at your purchasing a totally necessary item.

The key is compromise. If your fiance is a total football buff, you could probably find room in your budget for those front row superbowl tickets if he agrees to watch all the other games at home (hey, beer adds up if you’re paying $5 a bottle at the local sports bar). And maybe he’ll be more amenable to your big cashmere coat splurge if you’re closet’s not already overflowing with empty Nieman Marcus bags. Whatever it is, both of you need to be making adjustments and sacrifices. If you’re marriage is truly healthy, you’ll be happier knowing your partner is happy, than if you always get your own way.

2) But it’s more than just financial compatibility that’s important. Financial practicality also a necessary ingredient for a successful life. If the two of you are both naturally thrifty, that’s great. You two can fully enjoy your cans of beans heated on the stove (the only heat source in your house, given the price of gas these days), and your children will thank you when they inherit your enormous nest egg. But if both of you take your financial planning motto from Mad magazine (what, me worry?) , you’re going to be in trouble. Thousands of dollars in debt can put a crimp in your style, unless you plan on changing your name and moving states every year. (We admit. There’s something romantic about the whole fugitive from the law thing. But unfortunately, prison slightly less glamorous.)

Whatever your budget, certain things need to be taken care of first, like the water bill. Put aside money for the basics every month before you can even think about fancy dinners or a second car. These include rent/mortgage payments, bills (don’t forget to factor in things like insurance payments and any tuition payments), and basic food and transportation. Call this untouchable money, and put the most responsible member in charge of this. Also, most financial advisors recommend saving at least 20% of your yearly income, if possible. Put this in an IRA or some other sort of high interest fund geared toward saving for your future. Investments can be good ways to grow your capital, but keep at least a portion out in a high liquidity fund, so you can access some cash in case of emergencies.

4) Sometimes a cigar isn’t just a cigar. How we spend money often says much more about our personality than we’d like. If your fiance is a total control freak when it comes to the pocket book, chances are he’s the same way in other areas of life. Or if he goes out and drops several grand on an impulse new toy, don’t be surprised when he comes home and announces he’s accepted a new job offer—in Nebraska. (Or even worse, he has a new impulse girlfriend.) What may be romantic or charming early on in the relationship—all those expensive gifts he bought you, even though he was unemployed—start to look less cute after years of being together, when you’re the one balancing the check book.

Also, it’s often said that shopping is theraputic, but we think it can be more a way of indicating you need therapy. Maybe you feel Banana Republic will give you the love your father never gave you, or maybe your mother’s gambling addiction has turned you into a cash hoarder—whatever it is, a good therapist is much more effective at getting through your issues than a mastercard. Couple’s financial counseling is also a good way if the two of you don’t see eye to eye, or your sweetie’s spending habits are starting to scare you.  

5) Remember, spending money is a way of prioritizing things in our life (see #1), and this becomes just that much more important when you have kids. Unless it’s a shotgun wedding, you should discuss financial issues well before you decide to have kids. Are you going to send them to private school? Do you want to buy a larger house with a yard they can play in, or do you feel like sleeping in a broom closet builds character? Will you smother them in expensive toys, or if a stick and string was good enough for you, it’ll be good enough for them?

Kids aren’t cheap. The mandatory costs—vaccinations, food, clothing, school fees (even public schools ones)—all add up. Plus there are things like braces, and don’t even mention college tuition. How much money you spend on your kids is in part a reflection parenting styles. Some parents believe it’s best to provide as little as possible so their kids are self reliant, whereas others lavish their kids with every advantage possible in the hopes it’ll help them be successful. Most people are somewhere in the middle, but it’s best to find out exactly where you and your spouse-to-be fit in.  

In the past, picking your wedding cake seemed like, well, a piece of cake. White cake, jam filling, and white sugar icing were de rigeur for weddings—not to mention the his and hers china figurines on top. Now however, these cake expectations have gone the way of the girdle. If bland cake with mealy frosting isn’t your idea of a sumptuous dessert, there’s no reason to serve it as the highlight of your wedding reception. Modern couples serve anything and everything for their reception’s grand finale. Here’s the skinny on wedding cakes: 

Color me Beautiful

If white isn’t one of your wedding colors—or if you don’t want your wedding cake to compete with your wedding dress, there’s no reason to have a white cake. Nowadays cakes come in all colors, from pale ivory to deep scarlet, and a recent trend is to have wedding cakes that match your wedding colors, for a more coordinated look. A light colored cake with bold decoration is striking (think lavender paired with royal purple). But if you want to make an even bigger splash, have a deeply colored cake with lighter decoration (think forest green with pale pink roses).  Don’t rule out black for the ultimate statement: you can now wear black to a wedding, and that goes for weddings cakes too. A black wedding cake isn’t for all weddings—like a black frock, it would look out of place at an afternoon garden wedding, but a black cake covered with silver detailing would look stunning against Bellagio’s fountain at your evening Vegas Wedding.

Alternatively, you can pick contrasting deep colors for an elegant, jewel-toned cake. Look to old brocade fabric for inspiration. This works especially well for a winter or rennaissance themed wedding. While pastels aren’t as in this year, light colors can go well together, especially if they’re not too faded. If champaigne is your color, think about a champaign colored cake with ecru lace detailing for delicate, demure, yet modern look.  You can also use the season or location of your wedding to influence your cake color. A white cake with deep red and green holly decorations is a festive way to ring in your holiday wedding. If you’re saying “I do” in Autumn, why not chocolate ganache with bronze leaves? Or how about a pale pink cake with deep pink and green flowers for your outdoor brunch wedding in May? Trendy colors this season are greens and reds of all shade, from burgundy to baby pink to lime to forest green.   

Tasty Cakes

Your cake, like everything else in your wedding, should reflect your tastes—literally, whether that’s a chocolate flourless torte or strawberry shortcake. Cakes have gone from being a dry but pretty decoration to serious dessert. Pistachio cake, carrot cake, and pound cake are big this year, as are cakes with tropical or berry flavoured mousses. (In our humble opion, you can never go wrong with chocolate, of course.) If you’re worried about picky guests, or just can’t make up your mind, try getting each layer of cake in a different flavor. That way you can satisfy your chocoholic sister while getting the lemon cake you’ve been lusting over. Just watch out for guests who try to snag one of each flavor!  

Likewise, there’s no reason to stick to traditional wedding cake styles. Many trendsetting couples are picking cheesecake this year. If you love the rich flavor, but still want the more classic look, don’t worry. Bakers can now whip up a three tier cheese cake, or even one in the shape of a stack of gifts. Of course, if it wouldn’t be a wedding to you without a big white cake, you can update the classic with buttercream frosting and cake layered with homemade jam—you can stick with the classics of apricot, raspberry, or lemon, or try a new twist with kiwi, papaya, or black current.  Remember, as with everything, try to coordinate your cake with the season and location of the reception. For a winter wedding, why not have a traditional British Christmas cake (hey, anything soaked in Brandy is bound to be a hit!) For a summer wedding, a rich cake may be too much, but an angel food cake garnished with fresh berries would be a refreshing finale. 

Think outside the circle

Traditionally cakes have been round, but fashion-forward couples are ordering cakes in square, diamond, oval, and even hexagonal (6-sided) or pentagonal (5-sided) shapes for an interesting twist. Alternating square and round layers can also create a care-free whimsical look. You can also use shapes such as hearts and stars. If you were never one to draw within the lines, why not get a cake with no geometric shape at all? A skilled baker can put together a creation that would make Dr. Seuss jealous for an off-beat yet sophisticated look.  

Exterior Decoration

Chances are your house doesn’t look like a furniture catalog, so no need to have your cake look like it came from a magazine, either. A big trend this season is to have your cake reflect you. You can do that with monograms in your icing or cake toppers, or by incorporating detailing from your wedding invitation. If you and or fiance met somewhere special, why not displaying momentos of your first date on the cake. Think french flags and a mini Eiffel tower if you met in Paris, or pink roses to reflect the ones he gave you on your first date. Another recent trend is texture.

For the past couple years, of smooth sophisticated cakes with fondant icing have been all the rage, but now cakes with texture are hitting the scene. For a modern wedding, try expressionistic spackles for a funky fun look. Likewise, alternating smooth and textured layers make a stunning contrast.  If your wedding is more traditional, a cake impressed with the same pattern as your dress gives an elegant touch to this recent trend. Cakes inspired by fabric are also big this season, whether it’s brocade, lush velvet, or nubby tweed.  In terms of decoration, flowers and fruit never go out of style, however frosting, gum paste, or marzipan flowers add big bucks to the cake bill. For a cheaper but classy alternative, try fresh flowers or fruit, which gives the same look without all the labor (and cost) of molding tiny flowers.

Likewise, fondant has been uber trendy for the past few years, but more and more couples are switching over to buttercream, which is cheaper, tastier, and holds color better. You don’t have to sacrifice that smooth look though, the right baker should be able to create a sleek sheen even with buttercream. But if you have your heart (or should I say eye) set on the sleek look of fondant, try white chocolate, which is a richer, tastier flavor than the often gummy regular fondant. Also, if you’re having a summer wedding, fondant is a safer way to go, as butter cream can melt in hot weather. (Think of a pat of melting butter. Now think of your cake—not a pretty picture). 

Go small

Cupcakes, last year’s trend, are still hot, but why not go one step further with mini wedding cakes? You can either have a small one for each guest (it makes a great momento of your wedding) or a bigger one for each table. You can either have matching cakes for a unified look, or branch out and have variety of styles. Are your wedding colors pink and green? Try alternating pink and green cakes on each table. Or if you’re wedding is less formal, you could have a cake buffet table with various sizes and shapes of cakes. One classy way to do this is to pick one of your wedding colors, or another complementary color, and serve cakes in a variety of tints and shades of that color. This gives some variety while still maintaining a unified, coordinated look. So if yellow is your color, serve a cake in every shade from from deep gold to pale butter. 

Cake, cake, no cake?

If cake has never done if for you, there’s no reason (except tradition) why you need to have one at your reception. And like most modern girls, you’re not afraid to jettison tradition when it’s outdated, so why cling to the cake? It is your party, after all. Cutting edge brides are now serving a whole range of tasty desserts to celebrate their nuptials. Pie is a great way to go. Think homemade fruit pie for low-key earthy wedding, or French tarts for a look that is très sophistiqée. Other great possibilities are crème brulee (why not have the chef ‘brulee’ the crème in front of your guests? No guest is going to miss the cake when there’s a blowtorch involved), or its Spanish cousin flan. A towering souffle is just as breath taking as a wedding cake, not to mention much tastier. Or if you’d rather ditch all the formalities together (beach wedding, anyone?), why not serve ice cream sundaes? Of course, if you’re not ready to throw the cake out with the bathwater, you could always have a smaller version of your wedding cake for show, and then have a sumptuous dessert buffet. That way mom stays happy (hey, maybe she is paying for it), but you still get to eat tiramisu. 

Think outside the box

While wedding cake in the US means a big frosted cake, you and your fiance can show off your world knowledge—or celebrate your own cultural tradition—with wedding cake ideas from around the world. In France, traditional weddings are always capped off with a croquembouche, which is a large tower of puff pastry balls held together with toffee and decorated with small flowers or ribbons. Each of the little pastries is filled with cream or custard, and each guest breaks off a ball as a souvenir. In the British Isles and Carribbean, traditional couples celebrate the day with a rich dense fruit cake, while in Scandinavia many couples serve spettekake, a mildly sweet cake that is baked rotisserie style over an open flame. In East Asia, couples serve huge multilayered sponge cake covered in white frosting and candied fruits. If an actual cake is too expensive, couples  sometimes display a dummy cake, made out of plaster or wax, as a symbolic way to celebrate their love.    

Wedding Tips: Fashion

Bridesmaid Dresses

It’s a long tradition that one of the benefits of being a bride is the chance to dress your closest friends in the ugliest clothes possible. I mean, what better way to look good than to surround yourself with girls who look terrible? Now, however, being a beautiful swan surrounded by ugly ducklings has gone the way of teal, magenta, and leg warmers (though apparently those are making a comeback.) These days, all the hip brides realize that dressing their maids in cute dresses just looks, well, classy. After all, inviting someone to be a part of your bridal party is supposed to be a way of honoring them, not a passive-aggressive attempt to get revenge for the time your BFF asked out that hot guy you had a crush on after she totally promised to leave him alone.  So if you don’t want your 5 best friends (not to mention brand new sister-in-law) to hate you, here are some useful tips:

1) Remember the golden rule: do not do unto others as you would not have them do unto you. Translation. If you wouldn’t wear it, don’t make your bridesmaids wear it. Sure, everyone has a different fashion sense—you might be into sleek mod, while your sister likes floaty blouses, but there are some fashion lines that just shouldn’t be crossed. Like mutton sleeves. Or oversized bows on the back. Or taffeta anything  (unless your bridesmaids are under ten, in which case they should probably be your flower girls). We all know that different dress styles flatter different body types, but there are some dress types that flatter no one. And the high-necked, poofy-sleeved, drop-waist layered ruffle gown you had in mind is one of them. If the dress you choose makes even your skinny-mini cousin look like a heifer, it’s time to reconsider. Also, unless you’re 17 and getting married on prom night, don’t make your girls wear prom dresses. Nothing’s more humiliating then walking down the aisle at 26 in a dress you thought looked too immature at 16. One way to eliminate off-limits dresses is try them on yourself. If you look in the mirror and shudder, your friends will probably do the same. It doesn’t have to be your favorite dress in the world, but it should be one they can wear without wearing a paper bag over their head.    

2) Pick something they can wear again. Maybe your inner ballerina has always wanted to walk down the aisle preceded by girls in lemon-colored tutus, but before you start ordering yards of netting, think about when, or where, they could ever wear these dresses again. Chances are, if they’re not in ballet class, the answer is never. (And no, costume party or ugly bridesmaid dress competition don’t count as other places they can wear them.) Practical and reusable doesn’t mean they have to wear khaki pants and a sweater set, but there are lots great options for dresses that look good in wedding photos but don’t scream bridesmaid. For example, a black cocktail dress is a wardrobe essential and still looks elegant next to your white dress.

If you’re worried about matching your wedding colors, you could add removable accessories, such as sashes, pins, and flowers to coordinate. If your colors are champagne and pink, what could be more sophisticated than girls in little black dresses with satin champagne sashes and pink bouquets? This is especially great option if your colors look better on the wall than on your friends. If tangerine and neon lime are your wedding colors, navy dresses with alternating green and orange sashes and bouquets. Neutral colors like black, deep brown, navy, and beige are all-purpose and can complement any sort color scheme. If your heart is set on putting the girls in sage, or ruby, or whatever your colors are, then consider the cut of the dress. A lavender floor-length mermaid gown (think Julia Roberts in “My Best Friend’s Wedding) is as bridesmaid as you can get, but think about the same lavender shade on a tea dress, and suddenly your girls will have a dress they’ll be happy to wear to any garden party.

Separates are a great way to go. Your bridesmaids may not wear a floor-length burgundy silk halter gown again, but they might wear a burgundy silk skirt with a black wrap shirt to a fancy Christmas party. You can get matching tops and bottoms, which basically look like a dress, or you can mix it up. Think pink taffeta skirts with cute white tank tops for an outdoor wedding, or a gold spaghetti strap tank with a bias cut black silk skirt for your evening wedding at the Ritz.

3) Dress for success. If you have lots of bridesmaids in different shapes and sizes, try to dress to the largest common denominator. That is, find a style that’s flattering to your largest maid, and work back from there. Your friend who’s a model will look good in anything, so make sure that all your maids will be comfortable and have a chance to look cute. That might mean nixing the mini halter top dresses, but remember, happy and relaxed maids look better in pictures than those stuffed into tight dresses. Lest you forget, they ARE your friends, and you want them to look good and enjoy themselves. Empire waist styles and A-line dresses are two good options that look good on everyone, and cap sleeves provide some coverage while still looking cute. 

4) Mix-n-match. Of course, you can take the Stepford bridesmaid look too far. We recently attended a wedding where the maid of honor was 7 months pregnant. And in her honor, the bride put all the other attendants in maternity gowns. While the maid of honor glowed, the other girls all glowered. Nothing puts a damper on flirting with the groomsmen than having to explain that you’re not actually pregnant. In this case, it would have been better for the bride to pick two styles, or even have the girls each pick their own dress, using the same fabric to unite the look. This is also great if your maids are radically different sizes, or have radically different fashion senses. This way, your college roommate can wear a slinky spaghetti strap gown and your sister can wear a prim tea dress, and no one gets hurt. Besides specifying color, you can also set general guidelines, e.g. hem length, or formality level, to help your maids pick out dresses that match with your setting.

Another option is to mix up color. If your maids have different coloring, they don’t all look good in the same shades. So if yellow is your color, have them wear the same dress or same fabric, but let them choose shades of yellow from butter to gold. Not only does this keep them happy, but it’s a tasteful way to add a little bit of flair to your wedding party. Likewise, if your colors are chocolate brown and baby blue, have some of the maids in chocolate, and some in blue. Separates in matching fabric can also help your maids feel comfortable while maintain the same look. This way, they’re all in, say,  matching A-line skirts, your friend can show off her great collarbones in a halter top, while your more demure cousin might something less revealing.

5) Watch the bottom line: You’re spending 4,000 dollars on your couture gown, so it’s not unreasonable to ask your maids to pony up a measly 500 bucks for those to-die-for lime green silk ball gowns, right? Wrong. Remember, it’s your wedding, not theirs. While they want to support you on your big day, that means generally emotionally, not financially. Keep in mind besides the dress, they’re shelling out for shoes, hairstyling, make-up, not to mention shower, bachelorette party, and gift(s). Let’s face it honey, you’re not cheap. As friends of yours, they should be willing to splurge, after all, it’s not like you get married every day, but unless they’re made of money, you should be reasonable. $100-$200 is a good price range for dresses. Of course, no one’s going to complain if you score those cute J Crew minis for $60 on the bargain rack. But if your heart’s set on a $300 gold Vera Wang strapless, have an honest heart to heart with your girls. Maybe they’re all investment bankers, and drop that much on martinis at happy hour every day. If so, go ahead and splurge. Chances are they’ll be delighted with your haute taste. But if not, you should be willing to compromise: maybe there’s a gold halter at Macy’s for $150 that’ll do the trick. And if you feel your whole wedding would be ruined, then you could offer to offset some of the cost yourself, or perhaps forgo wedding or shower presents if your maids get the dress.

Also, be mindful of income discrepancies between your maids. Maybe they’re all successful lawyers, except your kid sister who’s still in college. In that case, try to either cater to your friend with the least disposable cash, or offer to help her out a little (like if she buys the dress, you’ll throw in the shoes). Just be discrete about it. Finally, if you have a friend who you really want to be there with you, but you know she doesn’t have the time, money, or temperament for being a bridesmaid, you can include her in other ways too. Think usherette, wedding book attendant, or poem-reader.

How much should I spend on a Dress?

If you’re like us, the nanosecond after you got engaged, you bought up every bride magazine you could find. And if you’re like us, you found the perfect gown in Bride Vogue, only to realize it cost more than a small house. While haute couture can be inspiring, the price is more likely to inspire a heart attack than anything else. Like everything else in the wedding industry, the sky is the limit for upper end wedding gown prices (and I hear they’re working on a way to get around that.) So unless you are a celebrity or heiress (or getting married to one), here are some good dress budget guidelines to keep in mind.

The average wedding dress costs $800. That’s a figure to start with, though chances are, you’re anything but average.  If you live for fashion, you probably want to consider a designer gown. In that case, be prepared to pay $1,500 to $5,000 for the gown of your dreams. If you have more time than money, a good way to score discount designer wares is to shop at a wedding gown outlet, warehouse, or sample sale. These places sell a variety of labels, samples, and discontinued designs at lower cost. You may have to dig, but you should be able to find a few diamonds in the rough. These places sell off the rack, so if you need alterations, you’ll have to find a seamstress you trust after you’ve purchased the gown. Some national bridal chains will also sell off the rack at a discount, which works if you’re a standard size and don’t mind wearing a sample.

On the other hand, if your idea of an expensive purchase is $100 Doc Martens, you can score a nice dress for way less than $800. There are tons of cute white dresses out there, they’re just not called wedding dresses. Try the formal wear section of your department store, or any cute boutique where you like the look. You can try wedding stores, though just ask to look the bridemaid gowns instead of wedding dresses. And trust us, no one can tell that your satin halter sheath wasn’t meant for the main event. If you’re a vintage diva, second hand stores are a great way to find a great one-of-a-kind dress, whether it’s 20s flapper or 60s mod. (Or you can surf the internet for ‘pre-loved gowns.’  Just remember when it’s two weeks before your wedding, your dress hasn’t shown up, and you’re out $400, that some things are better bought in person and where you know who you’re handing your money to.) If you’re not wedded to the idea of a white gown or a really traditional look, finding a great formal dress for less will be easier.

But if you’ve always done things by the book, a general rule of thumb is that the dress should cost no more than 10% of the total reception cost. So if your reception is going to cost 10 grand, you should look for a dress under or around $1,000. There are several different types of stores to shop at, each with their own pluses and drawbacks. At the higher end, try couture shops or independent gown shops. These places are full service, offering custom fitted gowns and in-house alterations. They also sell matching accessories for your gown. They’re not cheap, and you need to plan ahead, but if you want all the bells and whistles, they’re the way to go. Next, there are national bridal chains like David’s Bridal and large department stores. These stores have less of a selection (national chains generally only carry their own label), but they’re cheaper than couture gowns, and you can buy off the rack. While the level of service may be lower, many of these stores also have in house alterations, or can point you to an experienced seamstress. And finally, as we mentioned above, for truly discount services try bridal outlet stores or secondhand shops. You’re pretty much on your own there, but you can find a great dress for a fraction of the retail price.   

Wedding Tips: Colors

Wedding Dress Colors
Kind of like Christmas, most girls dream of a white wedding, or at least a white wedding dress. Yet while a white dress is always a classic, today’s brides aren’t afraid to mix it up with a bit of color, whether it’s an accent on the dress or the whole dress itself. Here are some color considerations to keep in mind.

What looks good on you: Pure white looks good on few people (if you’re anything like us, put on head-to-toe white and you’d need to hand out sunglasses to all the guests). Luckily shades like ivory, eggshell and other off-whites flatter a variety of skin tones and look basically like the real deal.

To figure out what shade is best on you, think about what sorts of colors you look good in. Do you glow in pinks? Are you better in gold? burgundy? Use these colors as guides for determining your shade of ‘white.’ If gold makes you glow, ivory or another yellow-white will work for you, but if soft pink is more your color you might want to pick a more rosy shade of off-white. If you can’t tell oyster from ecru (and face it, if you’re not a color consultant, who can?) ask the shop assistant to explain the colors in plain English. Take notes so you can sound like an expert at the next place you go. Alternatively, make a quick jaunt to the local paint store where they can tell you in scientific detail all you need to know about a color (it’s also a great place to pick up paint chips for picking your wedding colors.) If you do have dark skin you’re one of the lucky ones who can flaunt off your beautiful coloring in a dramatic true white gown.

Personal Style:   Let’s be honest. If it weren’t for convention, who would choose to dress in all white? Definitely not us. So why should you be forced into dressing like your wedding cake on the one day that’s all about you? (Not to mention white’s well-known effects on a girl trying to look her slimmest). Now that weddings are about celebrating a couple’s love and not about your dad giving him a piece of property, feel free to pick traditions that you like and ditch what you don’t. If you’re not ready to say goodbye to the white dress (or you don’t think you’re grandmother’s pacemaker could hold up to the shock), why not accent you dress with some color? A black sash around the middle is a dramatic, elegant statement, not to mention tres vogue this season. Likewise, chocolate brown, one of today’s hottest colors, gives a contemporary and stylish touch.

In the other direction, pairing your white gown with a pastel pink or green can give a touch of whimsy and looks great in a garden or for a spring wedding. A sash or a tulle underslip is a great way to show off your favorite color or match your bridesmaids. Another option would be colored decorative embroidery, beads, or a patterned fabric. Just remember: a deep or intense color looks bold, contemporary, or sophisticated, while a soft or pastel color can look romantic and pretty.

But if you’re like this modern girl, white is soo last century. You have a chocolate ganache wedding cake, so why not a chocolate strapless gown? If baby blue is your favorite color? Why not a baby blue satin gown—with white elbow-length gloves. Or if everyone tells you you’re drop dead gorgeous in red, make your guests gasp with a ruby off-the-shoulder gown (though leave the slippers at home, Dorothy). Of course keep in mind that a non-traditional color looks best with a more contemporary style—think sleek, not poofy, lest you like you’re getting married in your prom dress. Also, make sure you’re not dressed like your bridesmaids. Nothing’s more embarrassing for the guests not to know which one of you is getting married up there. But if you’re in a golden halter dress and they’re all in little black cocktail dresses, it’s still going to be your day.  

If you’re going the nonwhite dress route, keep in mind the setting and time of day—it becomes just that much more important in creating a tasteful and integrated look. If you’re getting married in a garden, look to your natural surroundings, especially your flowers, for inspiration. Burgundy or black could look inappropriate with at your tea-time wedding, but really shine at an evening wedding in a chic hotel. One great way to break away from white, white, and more white is to look to other cultures for inspiration. 
In our jet-setting age cultures routinely commingle, so why not bring a little multiculturalism to your wedding? In China and other East Asian cultures, red is the traditional color worn by brides because it symbolizes good luck.  In some parts of India brides wear green, the color of fertility. Many African-American brides might want to recognize their African heritage with brightly colored cloths like Kente cloths or incorporate reds, blacks, greens and yellows into their weddings.   

Picking your wedding colors

One tasteful and timeless way to pick your wedding colors is to choose your favorite color—purple, moss green, or baby blue, and then choose its tints and shades for a monochromatic themed wedding. Think your wedding cake in pale lavender, flowers in a bright lilac and bridesmaids in a rich purple. Also, adjacent colors—that is, those next to each other on the color wheel can be subtle or bold and either dress up or down your wedding. This season think pink, so try pairing a baby pink with fuchsia or deep rose for a feminine but elegant wedding.  

If your tastes run bolder, remember that opposite colors definitely attract. Pick colors directly across the color wheel for a dramatic look. To vary it up though, try experimenting with various shades and intensity. You might like red and green together, but if you’re not getting married in December, try pale spring with deep cranberry, or light pink with forest green. White and black are timeless and classy, but they instantly take your wedding up a notch in formality. Especially trendy this season is tangerine and turquoise, which would look great for a summer or beach-themed wedding. Other great contrasting pairs are lemon and plum, ruby and lime green.

More color ideas: this season, brown is the new black, so the fashion- forward bride can try incorporating this shade into her wedding. Chocolate browns look great with pastels like pale blue (another ‘in’ color) or green. Chocolate paired with cream or another lighter neutral is sophisticated and classy. For a dramatic statement, match brown with a deep gold or orange. Metallics are also trendy and versatile. Silver and black are traditional black tie, whereas silver and pink are charmingly retro. Try copper and brown for an Autumn wedding, or gold and green for and Easter wedding.

Color can also be a great way to incorporate your groom’s input. Why not use his favorite color as a start-off point? (Olive green, anyone?) This is a great way to make the wedding both of your day. Also, you can soften his ultra-masculine choice with a more feminine color of your own, like pair his navy with a light peach or his gray with lavender. Finally, there’s no hard and fast rule that says you only should use two colors. Instead, try picking a range of colors that complement each other, or use your theme for inspiration. An autumn harvest wedding could incorporate reds, oranges, and golds as well as moss green and brown. Just try to keep it coherent so it doesn’t end up looking like a box of crayons exploded at your reception.  

Color basics:

Hue – the color you perceive. E.g. red, green and yellow are all different hues.

Tint – lighter versions of a color made by adding white.

Shade – darker versions of a color made by adding black.  

Primary Colors - colors that can’t be made by mixing two other colors together: red, blue, yellow (you know, the ones you loved in preschool)

Secondary Colors – made by mixing primary colors: orange, purple, green.

Check our our fabulous line of save the date cards and magnets!

www.savethedatemagnet.com

www.save-the-date-cards.com

Welcome to the Wedding Wisdom blog.  We will discuss relationships, wedding planning, invitations, etiquette, honeymoons, the dress and everything else under the sun related to weddings.  We will also answer questions so go ahead and ask away!!!